4 Things I Wish I Took More Seriously When Using Tinder

Have you ever hooked up with someone and saw their mugshot on Facebook the next day? Well, I have. Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience. 

If you do decide to go the dating app route, always meet in public.

No matter how sweet and well-mannered someone is on the phone, always meet in public.

Not everyone is as genuine as they seem and has the best intentions for you. Even if you've Facetimed them and had many heart-to-heart conversations over the phone, you want to still prioritize your safety.

As the old saying goes, it's better to be safe than sorry.

If someone insists that you guys meet at their place of residence first, consider this a warning and skedaddle.

Reflecting on my impulsive mistakes using Tinder, I had no backbone. I saw right through guys who wanted me to "come over and chill" but followed through anyway because I wanted to go through a rebellious phase at the time.

But I'm writing this post so I can reach someone who is thinking of doing the same and prevent them from making the same mistake I did.

When you decide to meet someone in public, take the extra precaution and share your location with your loved ones and trusted friends.

You can never be too careful.

Even though being in public is safer, you can't always assume people are going to be superheroes if the unthinkable happens. The bystander effect is too real.

In my opinion, it's better to have people who are closest to you know your whereabouts and can track you down if God forbid something ever happens to you. It keeps you safe. Deters weirdos away. Win-win.

Always trust your gut. If something feels off there's a chance there is.

Pay attention to someone's body language. Are you picking up on anything suspicious? Do they seem like they're on edge? Do their eyes seem to avert somewhere else?

Don't ignore this.

After an encounter with this person four years ago, I got a very bad feeling when he asked his roommate where the strap (gun) was.

I don't even think they cared I was there. I began to feel uncomfortable and alarms were starting to go off in my head to jump out of the window even though we were on the 4th floor.

Then when they were taking me home, they were bumping the music extremely loud enough to burst an eardrum, but somehow they were able to hear each other and talk with one another.

This made me feel like I was in more danger. The next day when I was talking with my friend about my experience with this guy, I was scrolling through Facebook. My heart sank when I saw that someone shared a post with his mugshot.

I clicked on the post and he was arrested for shooting and killing his roommate the day after we met. The same roommate he drove with to take me home.

I get chills all around my body as I'm seeing this. This person was never safe to be around and my body picked up on it.

Never underestimate your gut.

You also want to pay attention to any love bombing. If someone is showering you with compliments, saying 'I love you', and telling you you're the best thing that's happened to them before getting to know who you are; put your Nike shoes on and run.

This is an unhealthy way to connect and does come off as suspicious.

Don't ever meet with people who pressure you into intimacy early

If someone talks about sex early or jokes about hooking up upon meeting, don't even waste your time.

I know hooking up is the main reason many people use dating apps, but you don't have to do something you're not comfortable with.

It's okay to have standards. Yes, even on dating apps. If celibacy is your goal, you're allowed to keep that standard.

You likely won't have luck with dating apps due to that weeding out a lot of people, but people respect others who hold themselves in a higher regard.

Always remember to discern facts from emotions.

What are the intentions of the other person? Do they respect you as a human being or a body to masturbate with? Are they willing to court you first?

Figuring that out will save you a lot of headaches.

It's okay to do your own background checks and research

One big red flag that many people don't really look into is checking people's online presence.

Not everybody has social media, but if you can't find any profiles on them with their names, I would pay close attention to that.

He or she could just not have social media, but people are more likely to than not so don't be afraid to ask some questions.

If they're also coming up with excuses when you ask them to Facetime or talk on the phone, consider that a catfishy situation.

MTV's Catfish should already teach you preventative outcomes.

The guy whose mugshot I saw the next day I found out that he didn't particularly have a good resume.

He recently had a newborn and was already looking for the next woman to impregnate. I also found out he was about to officially date someone else.. and I was the last person he hooked up with.

Really awkward.

You never know when a simple background search will come in handy. The last thing you want to find out is whether your potential partner is a registered sex offender, married, has a domestic violence record, or has kids he doesn't take care of.

Conclusion

There were a lot of things I regret about using dating apps.

I was going through a separate phase when I was messing around with it, and I ended up meeting loser dudes who wanted me to help pay their phone bills.

I regret not using discernment, not practicing safety precautions, and stringing people along.

Before deciding to download those dating apps, consider getting to know what your values are and developing your social skills first.

Ask yourself does downloading this match my character? What needs am I trying to get met with these apps? Have I even tried talking to people in real life?

Social media isn't terrible, but it's become a replacement for human connection. Especially with the rise of AI. Downloading Tinder won't help you if your social skills already suck as it is.

One thing is for sure: trust that inner voice you have. If you're spiritual or religious this can be God's voice. Or your gut feeling. Your intuition. Whatever you want to call it.

This goes for dating app users and non-users alike.